Sunday, October 12, 2008

WAOB part 6?

Its 11:20 on sunday night I am 63 hours and 20 minutes into a 72 hour shift.Budds brain at this stage is even fuzzier than normal.However Budd realizees that his many fans and students are crying out for another inspirational lesson in the exciting field of EMS/Fire.Its possible that no one is really crying out for another lesson its just that I'm afraid that if I go to bed the bat phone will ring and I will have to do some thing.
This time Budd will take questions from the class.thats right any question you have you can now ask.The phone lines are open.I'm waiting and waiting any question any one, now is your chance,the question you always wanted to ask............................I'm still waiting.OK in that case I will assume that you are to shy to ask and I will ask some questions of my own.
#1 Why is the warning on the back of a fire truck,you know the one that says "KEEP BACK 250 FEET" written in letters so small they can only be read from 50 feet?
ANSWER 1 This goes back into the early days of the fire service somewhere around the early or mid 80's there was a tv program that was very popular with fire fighters.The show was called Max Headroom.For all of you that don't understand google it.
#2 Why are there so many acronyms used in NIMS?
ANSWER 2 It is a weak attempt by those in charge of such things to imitate the Budd Model of ICS.Remember the first rule of the Budd model is to create confusion.Who knows what a JIC or a JIS or a HP or a HBO is?and yet they are NIMS terms.
#3 Who are the multi jurisdictional agencies that we read about that authored the NIMS documents?
ANSWER 3 They are the same people that helped write our SOGs: a loose band of crack heads that some judge sentenced to community service.Budd shouldn't insult crack heads so.The real answer is they are nephews of a very powerful politician,who couldn't get a real job so thier uncle set them up with a nice goverment contract.
#4 Why do we in emergency services only see politicians in an election year ?
ANSWER 4 Do not look a gift horse in the mouth.Seriously(it is now 13 hours later, the bat phone rang and we wound up with a run and a transfer.I've gotten off work and gone home and tried to sleep but everyone in the world had question s for the fire dept today.I've given up on sleeping and gotten up.Budds dedication to you dear student is just unbelievable)back to the question seriously if you have got to ask why you only see the politicians on election year you obviously failed Emergency Services and politics 101a.This is the class that teaches you that any program that the goverment says is to help fire and ems is immediately eaten up by the agency created to administer the program.The politicians only come around during election year to help you.
#5 Why do agencies fight so much among them selves?
ANSWER 5 Budd has spent considerable research into this area and has concluded that we think it is fun.It is a hobby among reponders,hobbies don't have to make sense.Some people raise snakes that doesn't make sense,some people for a hobby crawl into caves,that doesn't make sense but they think it s fun,so they do it.We apparently think it is fun to fight and destroy our departments.I think it is because the work we do requires aggressive personalities and put us together and we are aggressive to each other.
#6 Why do you keep saying "park your command vehicle across the railroad tracks"?
ANSWER#6 Because it is the highest place in town.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

WAOB and credentialing

Credentialing is the buzz word among public safety agencies now and these same agencies are spending large amounts of money to insure credentialing.Budd has a desire to help fellow public servants and is presenting his Budd Model of ICS Credentialing for Public Safety Professionals.
This seminar is presented free to all public servants just have your company send payment in the form of cash to Budd.This seminar is presented in the form of frequently asked questions.So remember all that you have learned of the Budd model and lets begin.CEUs may be available for this lesson.Just let me know before you apply for them.
#1What is credentialing?Credentialing is a term that was thought up by a person who has 1 - a laptop 2 - a lot of time with nothing to do.However this person has an uncle who is a very powerful senator.With this connection he sold the whole concept to the government for a very large sum of money.The government to justify this is passing the concept to people who actually have a job.Of course other agencies and study groups as well as taskforces have to be implemented to make sure the crendentailing process is done thoroughly and in an orderly manner.Crendenialing is making sure you are who you think you are and you do what you think you do.Budd once knew an individual who thought he was some one else and did what they were supposed to do for his entire career.Then through credentialing he found this out and sued himself for identity theft and lost wages.But as you can see identity is the key in credentialing.
#2 How does one proceed through the credentailing process?For management this is easy ,for the actual street level employee it is more complicated.To understand this we must view the etymology of the word "cre"is an early American expression meaning to inflict dentailis from dental a medical term meaning pain.From this we see that credentialing is to inflict pain on the person working the street.
#3Budd you are really smart on this stuff
#4 and handsome
#5 What has brought about this emphasis on credentailing?NIMS what else?We all knew who we were and what we did before the NIMS classes turned our brains to mush.
#6 Budd do you have any tips for the ordinary person to help them through this long ,difficult process?Budd does and he thought you would never ask.We call this part of the seminar THE THREE MAGIC WORDS or in NIMS speak ttmw.You should affix ttmw to a Velcro backing so that they can be easily placed on your ICS vest.Make each one of ttmw 1/3 the size of the label on your vest and clearly wri
#7 SHUT UP AND TELL US TTMW. That isn't a question but Budd will answer it any way.TTMW are in this order(to begin with)GOVERNMENT-AGENCY-LIAISON.
#8Why those words?Remember the concept behing credentialing is identity and the concept behind the BUDD MODEL is confusion.These three words have been chosen after much study because they can mean so many different things.
#9 Give us an example.Getting a little pushy there aren't we ?Where are you from North East Arkansas?Example:day one your ICS vest reads GOVERNMENT AGENCY LIAISON this title is good for at least a week.No one wants to interfere with a hard working goverment agency liason.The Liason might get offended and report to some one that you are trouble maker. The thought never occurs to them who the liaison would report them to.So if you frown a lot and mumble you can be the official GOVERNMENT AGENCY LIAISON for at least a week.
After 1 week change TTMW so that they readAGENCY GOVERNMENT LIAISON.Now you represent the agency to the goverment.The goverment agencies can't be expected to know you and the agency doesn't want to interfere with you doing your job.You can probably with luck get 3 or 4 days out of this title.However agency personnel tend to talk among them selves so it might pop out in a conversation that no one from any agency knows you.Always have an agency name that is not present ready to use if the need arises.
Next change your ICS vest to read LIAISON AGENCY GOVERNMENT .
#10 That doesn't even make sense!Precisely are you a government liaison to the agency or a agency liaison to the government?who knows?but you have a title and people will not want to show their ignorance by asking.Hopefully the event will be over and you can leave before any one gets their nerve up enough to ask"Who are you?What are you doing".If you are asked this question answer by saying "that is a good question and when we know we will tell you"This answer establishes that you are very high in the ICS structure.
#11 Any other tips?Park your command vehicle across the railroad tracks,it's the highest place in town.