Sunday, October 12, 2008

WAOB part 6?

Its 11:20 on sunday night I am 63 hours and 20 minutes into a 72 hour shift.Budds brain at this stage is even fuzzier than normal.However Budd realizees that his many fans and students are crying out for another inspirational lesson in the exciting field of EMS/Fire.Its possible that no one is really crying out for another lesson its just that I'm afraid that if I go to bed the bat phone will ring and I will have to do some thing.
This time Budd will take questions from the class.thats right any question you have you can now ask.The phone lines are open.I'm waiting and waiting any question any one, now is your chance,the question you always wanted to ask............................I'm still waiting.OK in that case I will assume that you are to shy to ask and I will ask some questions of my own.
#1 Why is the warning on the back of a fire truck,you know the one that says "KEEP BACK 250 FEET" written in letters so small they can only be read from 50 feet?
ANSWER 1 This goes back into the early days of the fire service somewhere around the early or mid 80's there was a tv program that was very popular with fire fighters.The show was called Max Headroom.For all of you that don't understand google it.
#2 Why are there so many acronyms used in NIMS?
ANSWER 2 It is a weak attempt by those in charge of such things to imitate the Budd Model of ICS.Remember the first rule of the Budd model is to create confusion.Who knows what a JIC or a JIS or a HP or a HBO is?and yet they are NIMS terms.
#3 Who are the multi jurisdictional agencies that we read about that authored the NIMS documents?
ANSWER 3 They are the same people that helped write our SOGs: a loose band of crack heads that some judge sentenced to community service.Budd shouldn't insult crack heads so.The real answer is they are nephews of a very powerful politician,who couldn't get a real job so thier uncle set them up with a nice goverment contract.
#4 Why do we in emergency services only see politicians in an election year ?
ANSWER 4 Do not look a gift horse in the mouth.Seriously(it is now 13 hours later, the bat phone rang and we wound up with a run and a transfer.I've gotten off work and gone home and tried to sleep but everyone in the world had question s for the fire dept today.I've given up on sleeping and gotten up.Budds dedication to you dear student is just unbelievable)back to the question seriously if you have got to ask why you only see the politicians on election year you obviously failed Emergency Services and politics 101a.This is the class that teaches you that any program that the goverment says is to help fire and ems is immediately eaten up by the agency created to administer the program.The politicians only come around during election year to help you.
#5 Why do agencies fight so much among them selves?
ANSWER 5 Budd has spent considerable research into this area and has concluded that we think it is fun.It is a hobby among reponders,hobbies don't have to make sense.Some people raise snakes that doesn't make sense,some people for a hobby crawl into caves,that doesn't make sense but they think it s fun,so they do it.We apparently think it is fun to fight and destroy our departments.I think it is because the work we do requires aggressive personalities and put us together and we are aggressive to each other.
#6 Why do you keep saying "park your command vehicle across the railroad tracks"?
ANSWER#6 Because it is the highest place in town.

No comments: